I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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