you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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