Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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