Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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