i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
