i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize