Screwed.edu
do herpes really smell.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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