Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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