dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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