bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
