Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
