so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
