im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
