Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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