I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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