Just cropdusted the office
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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