Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize