I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
