That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
