I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
