worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
