i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
