I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize