if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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