well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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