Will you blow on my dice?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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