I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
