OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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