Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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