Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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