24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
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the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
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She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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