He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
