So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
