Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
