Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
