i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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