Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize