Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
