Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
