id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
