I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
