I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
