brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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