why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
