Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
