Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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