Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
