i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We named our party play list daddy issues
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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