Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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