I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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