they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
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