My Higher Power is John Stamos
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
