Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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