so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Bring me that man meat
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
