Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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