Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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