Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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