I am spending my child support on dildos
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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