East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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