What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
