Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
