She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
