Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
